13 Pieces of Unsolicited Dating Advice (That I Wish I’d Known Sooner)
Know who it’s super important to fall in love with? Yourself. Know who I tried to fall in love with before I figured that out? Everyone but myself
It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to be my own first and best priority in love, but eventually I got there (through trial and much error, and a whole host of spiritual tools that I share with my clients in the new coaching experience The Romance Breakthrough Formula)
As human beings, we couple with one another for a lot of reasons.
I think that a big reason is that we’re all kinda afraid that we’re going to die alone.
Another is that we think having someone fall in love with us will fill that void.
Even if we’re familiar with the concept of being whole entities on our own (which was not a thing when I was growing up) there is sometimes a gap between the concept and the actual doing of the thing itself.
Here’s some dating advice I wish I had procured an easier way (but, sadly, I learned by coupling over and over with the wrong people)
Maybe I can save you the heartache and hassle…or at least make you feel less alone
1. Make friends (this is so important that I’m gonna repeat it later)
2. Reach out if you’re lonely
3. Make out if you’re frisky. be random. be safe. don’t think you need to make a live-in boyfriend out of a kiss (or more) at the bar
4. Cry if you’re sad
5. Create a life out of this mess. Make it funny and gorgeous and rich. Paint it the colours that look good on you and then get a puppy and let him shit on the new carpetJoin my free FB Group for sparkly ladies
6. Make friends with people who are older and younger than you. Keep as broad a perspective as you possibly can
7. Hang out with people you admire, the ones who are doing things that interest you. The ones you’re sure are funnier or more successful than you are
8. Spend a lot of time with people who think you’re the coolest thing since Antarctica; who think your jokes are the funniest
9. Hang out with people online. Let’s not pretend to be all above digitization here. You’re reading this on a digital device. There are lots of SAFE ways to meet and interact with people all over the world who have similar interests. And you don’t even have to wear a bra
10. If at any point during a date you think to yourself, “I’d rather be reading my book in the bath right now,” show him the door (politely and immediately)
11. If your mom, best friend, and/or therapist says he’s a c*nt, he probably is. (Assuming, of course that your mom, best friend, and therapist are not c-words themselves). If everyone you love hates him, it’s not because you’re the only one who understands him. It’s because he’s a c*nt. Do. Not. Marry. Him. In fact, save yourself some time and break up with him now
12. Go to dinner parties, concerts, the movies, sushi, the theatre, weddings and everywhere else classically designed as a “couples thing” by your damn self. Buy (or borrow) a fantastic outfit. Wear heels and false lashes (if, unlike me, you can wear them without blinking ten times your normal amount). If you must take a date, bring along your funniest friend. Have an amazing time and remember all those other times when you had to make an excuse for your boyfriend’s shitty mood. “He’s having a really stressful time at work” “He’s getting a cold”. Fuck him. Go alone.
*** This last one is important***
13. The right person might come along
Maybe she or he never will.
But this much I know is true: creating a beautiful life for yourself without him/her is far more fulfilling than trying to mash yourself into loving the wrong person or hanging out with someone who isn’t that nice just because you don’t want to die alone.
Make being alone a scintillating option
Make it so goddamn beautiful that whomever this elusive Other is, he or she had better be the motherfucking shit, or the velvet rope into your awesome life is closed.
Make your own life a sweet symphony of laughing ’til you pee in your pants, road trips with your brother where you sing all the words to every Eve 6 song ever written, bike rides, Netflix Sundays, trips to California.
And then, if someone comes along, make sure he or she makes all that cooler, brighter and better.
Or shut the car door and keep on driving with the radio blasting.
You are so worth that much,
Check out The Romance Breakthrough Formula Coaching Experience to learn more about how I can help you create a beautiful love life and to schedule your FREE consultation
Your Turn: Give us your best piece of dating/relationship/love advice in the Comments below (or on Facebook). Better yet, share your most disastrous dating mistake — the one you wish someone had warned you against.
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