What to do About Other People’s Behaviour
Doesn’t it just make you loco when a great friend, who’s a totally awesome chick, marries a total d-bag?
I know it drives me up the freakin’ wall.
It’s the worst when she realizes he’s mean to her and then stays.
We’ve all been there (just me?).
It’s the worst.
It hurts my heart to watch good people making decisions that hurt their hearts. Know what I mean?
(PS to all my friends who had to watch me making these kinds of decisions for years, I’m so sorry. Being on the other side of it is truly painful).
Know what else sucks?
Being taken advantage of.
And unappreciated or under-valued.
So, short of becoming an island, what the heck can we really do about other people’s behaviour, anyway? (You know the behaviour I’m talking about. The kind you wish you could just change already).
Here’s what you can’t do about other people’s behaviour:
*Police it, change it, control it, deliberately influence it, take responsibility for it, or apologize for it
Here’s what you can do about other people’s behaviour:
*Decide to what extent (if any) you will allow it in your space — be that space mental, emotional, physical, digital, educational, romantic, friendly, your bed space, your head space, your body space, your inner circle, your outer circle, your memories, your time, your energy, your vitality, your spirituality.
YOU decide with whom you spend your time, not HOW those with whom you spend your time choose to represent themselves.
You can’t control their vibe, you can’t shame them into being sorry for hurting your feelings, you can’t break up with them to make them see what a good thing they had.
You MAY inadvertently influence the behaviour of others. But only THEY may choose how your influential behaviour is integrated into THEIR consciousness.
Sit with that for a sec. Isn’t it a relief?
* To know that your only responsibility in the matter is to cut out people who make you feel shitty (or the parts of them that make you feel shitty. Metaphorically, obvs. Not literal cutting).
* To know that how they behave or are perceived in the world is none of your business?
* To love them anyway, if you choose to, even if it’s from a healthy distance?
* To forgive them for not having it figured out yet?
* To wish them the best and hope that they value themselves a little more, but not invest your own worth in whether they get there or not?
Sigh it out.
Let it go.
That’s their shit.
It’s only your shit if you’ve let it in your space; if you’ve CHOSEN to allow their behaviour to influence your state of mind or decision-making.
And you can change that at any second.
You can change it right now.
“You have control of everything that rendezvous with you”
– Abraham Hicks
I believe in your ability to take control of who and what rendezvous with you, and how they do it. Right now, in this moment.
You are powerless to their behaviour, but you are not powerless to what you allow in.
Accept them, send them some love, and then get on with creating your own magic.
You’ve got this.
And so it is,
Know what’s a dope way to let go of OPB? A ritual! You can access a free one here!